Father Knows Best

Several years back I read an article in a magazine that talked about the relationships kids have with their Dads.  It is and it should be different than the one they have with their Mom.  This article was written specifically to moms telling them not to impose too many rules on Dad.  As long as the kids were safe and happy, let them do things different than you would.  This really stuck with me.
Over the years I have been so happy for the freedom I have been able to give Bret (if you know me, you know this can be hard for me)to love our kids differently than I do.  I smile and look the other way when I see them playing kinda rough.  I laugh to myself, and sometimes out loud, when I see the outfits he chooses for them.  And I am happy to the point of tears when I see him make up games that the kids play with him and enjoy more than words can describe.
I am learning to stop being frustrated that he does not do things the way I do and in stead be glad that he sees another way.
Lately Cody and I have been battling with my desire for him to learn to write his own name.  So I asked Bret for help.  He took Cody into the guest room and let him start practicing on the chalkboard with chalk, which he likes better than paper and pencils.  Then after they practiced for a while, (Cody was frustrated because he said he could not make a perfect C)  Bret gets the bright idea to offer to pay Cody for each time he tries to write his name.  (With Cody we have to spend a lot of time working on the concept of trying to get better and not just waiting until you can do it perfectly).  Well this works!  Cody is writing his name over and over and is so proud of the money he is earning.  He worked and earned money, just like Daddy!

So today as he carries his change around and plays with it,  I have to sit on my Mom tendency to tell him how dirty it is and all the places it has been, and just smile and get him to wash his hands when he is done.

Still Thankful

So this has been a trying week for me. For some reasons I will not go into and for others I will explain. But I have been clinging to the verse that says "In all things give thanks." It is easy to give thanks when surrounded by friends and family at your son's birthday party, but at other times it is harder. But I will still choose to do it.
One thing I am especially thankful for this week is friendship. I have a dear friend that loves me and knows me, but she loves and knows the Lord even more. She is a great listener and when things are tough, she really does go to the Lord on my behalf. It is not one of those people who say "I will pray for you" and then tacks you on to the end of their nightly prayers. This friend spent time on her knees for me and for that I am thankful. She then called hours later with wisdom from the Lord and His Word that will forever change me. I appreciate that she is able to really speak the truth in love. It was not what I wanted to hear, but she loves me enough to tell me what I needed to hear in stead and for that I am thankful.
This week I had to have my second colonoscopy. For a healthy girl in her 30's this is a little odd, but for me it is necessary. I had some problems last year that made my first one happen. Last year the doctor found and removed several polyps. So I had to repeat the test this year to see how things are going in there.
I will spare you the gory details, but in order to go and look around in there your colon has to be empty. So you have to go without food for a while and then make sure all is clean in there. This process is less than pleasant. In the midst of it I called my mom when I thought I could not drink one more glass of Colyte and she reminded me that I needed to be thankful for this test. It has probably saved my life and countless others. While I was able to be thankful for wireless internet, my computer, ebay, and butterscotch candy, now I was even able to be thankful for the darn test I was so dreading.
So I had the test done on Thursday and it came back completely clean and for that I am sure thankful. Not only am I healthy, but I get to wait 3 years before I have to do it again!

Thankful

So last Saturday we celebrated Cody's 5th birthday. If you have ever been to a Cody birthday event or if you just know Cody, he is usually not a big crowds kind of guy. His first 4 birthdays were just family at our house, simple and the way he wanted it. So this year when we started talking about his birthday he wanted a party with his friends there. I was excited to hear this, and at the same time a little scared that the reality might overwhelm him.
I like to plan the kids parties with the kids and let them make as many decisions as they can. Of course at this age I do not say, plan your party. What I do is sit down with them on several different occasions and give them a couple of choices and let them choose. We usually pick the theme first and sit at the computer and order all the plates and decorations. Then we talk about who they want to invite. Finally we pick a venue and the food. So this year, without much hesitation Cody wanted a Super Mario Brothers Party and that the party had to happen on his actual birthday. Then he said family and this time he added the names of several friends from school. So we talked about where this many children could go that they would have fun and the adults would not be miserable. He wanted the party at home at home, but I said that many kids in August where we would all be forced to stay inside would just not work. So his first solution was to move his birthday to the winter when it would not be so hot outside. I explained that would not work and we finally settled on the pool. The food decision was an easy one for Cody. He wanted all his friends to eat McDonalds Happy Meals with him. When I asked about the adult food, he said he did not care. Finally he wanted Aunt 'Zanne to make him a cake, and that she did!
So the party was planned, the stuff bought, the arrangements made. The day came, and after no rain to speak of in probably a month, the forecast called for terrible storms and up to 2 inches of rain.
At first I thought of this the same way I do when they forecast snow in Georgia. If they say it is coming, then it is not. Then I thought it was wisdom to make a back up plan. So I figured out what we could do if we needed to have the party at our house. I let people know how they would know of a venue change, but I still hoped the original plan could work.
At 4:30 on Saturday I was pretty stressed out, trying to get everything ready, trying to decide if we should move it, but I carried on with the plan. And I am so glad I did.
It was the perfect birthday party. The weather was overcast and not as hot. It sprinkled at the beginning but with no lightning or thunder people just continued to swim. Cody's friends were there. His family was there, and in the way Cody can, he just glowed. The party went smoothly and everyone had fun, the cake was amazing, and my boy is now 5 years old. The best part of the night was after many people had left and I was taking Cody to the restroom. You could hear the radio playing "Mighty To Save." Cody says "Mommy it sounds a little but like church in here." I just smiled and said yes it does Cody. Then I went where he could not see me and just cried. I was overwhelmed at God's goodness to me on that day, with Cody, with how the party turned out, with how my life turned out. He really is Might to Save and I am very thankful!

Some of the Reasons I Love Cody

On this, the eve of Cody's birth, I am reflecting on what an amazing 5 years this has been. So I will share a quick conversation we had tonight that pretty much sums it all up. I was pleading with him to get in bed so I could get the things done that I have on my list to prepare for his party tomorrow, as well as prepare for the chance of a forced relocation of his party due to weather.
So I say, "Cody please get in bed. I have eight hundred and twenty two things to do to get ready for tomorrow."
He responds, "Mommy, you should say you have ABOUT 822 things to do. You forgot the word about. You did not really count that many things to do. You are just guessing."

First of all the kid loves numbers! He does know the difference between counting and estimating, and he gently points out my error here. He also is the master at dragging out bedtime. After a comment like that, I got completely wrapped up in a discussion with him about how proud I am for how smart he is and about math sense in general and dropped the idea of bedtime altogether. Finally, he loves to talk to his Mommy. He and I can sit and talk about anything. I love this age for that reason. He is old enough to have a real conversation. He has intelligent things to say, a sense of humor, and cool wonderings about the world. My sweet Cody is also not too old, such that talking to his Mom is not cool anymore. I am so humbled to be the Mom of such an amazing kid, and I look forward to celebrating him tomorrow.
Now this post must end since I have to prepare for a pool party and for a party here in case the pool party gets rained out.

Babyland General Smilebox

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What a Great Day!!

So we potty trained the boy last summer and the girl this summer.  I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.  For any of you that still have potty training in your future, I am pretty sure giving birth was easier!  It is funny really, you can do all kinds of things to get your kid to do it, but it is totally up to them.  They are going to go when they are ready.
Cody waited until he was almost 4 but never had a training period or any accidents.  He just decided one day that he wanted all those silly incentives that we had been dangling in front of him, and he did it.  So we threw him a party to celebrate and that was it.
Then there is Emilee who started using the potty as a young 2 year old while we were working on Cody last summer and drug it out until this summer to be totally potty trained.  What finally sparked a little fire under her was a look on line at the pictures of Babyland General.  I told her we would go there with a friend and she could pick her very own baby.  So this was worth it to her and she started going and that was the end of the battle.
So today was the big day.  Rather than bore you will all the details, I will just tell you to watch the Smilebox that I will post.  It says it all.  She was so proud of herself.  I was so proud of her.  It was a great day.
Then we came home and I made a yummy new meatloaf recipe.  It is a Paula Deen, so it is easy and worth trying if you want.  I will post it below.
1 pound ground beef, 1 1/4 tsp. salt, 1/4 tsp ground black pepper, 1/2 cup chopped onion, 1/2 cup chopped bell pepper, 1 egg lightly beaten, 8 oz. canned diced tomatoes with juice, 1/2 cup quick cooking oats.  mix well and place in baking dish.  Cover with topping (1/3 c. ketchup, 2TB brown sugar, 1TB prepared mustard) and bake at 375 for an hour.  The topping makes the meatloaf so don't skip it.  Enjoy!

The Allergy Test Results

Skin testing is never fun.  Fortunately for me, Bret has taken Cody both times.  He said that it was not easy.   Cody fidgeted, cried, fought back, and was ultimately the most bothered by the fact his back was itching.  The nurse said that his reaction was typical and not bad at all though.  He bounced back quickly because once it was Daddy's turn he was laughing his head off.  He is usually quite compassionate, but in this case he decided to find the humor in the fact that this same awful thing was happening to someone else.  I was surprised to hear this because they compare it to a cat walking on your back and say it is not all that bad, so why was Cody so miserable?  Because everything was coming back as allergic and he was miserable!  This breaks a Mommy's heart, so I am glad I was not there for all this.  Emilee and I were shopping.  We were in the area of the doctor's office, so we stopped by to hear what the doctor had to say about all this.
Bret is very allergic to alot of things in his environment and several foods, which we knew.  He is an excellent candidate for allergy shots and will start them again in a couple weeks.  Please pray that this works out with his schedule.  He currently does not have much in the way of free time, so making time to get his health back needs to happen, but it will put a strain on him at work and on our family.
Cody is allergic to...and here is the list of what they tested for that he came back very allergic to...it is not an all inclusive list, but it gives you an idea.
Dust mites, Dogs, Cats, Mice, Cockroaches,
Pretty much every tree on the list: oak, willow, hickory, birch, maple, cedar, elm, and sycamore
Several grasses:  Bahai, Timothy, June but NOT Bermuda or Fescue (GOOD NEWS)
Ragweed, 7 different kids of Mold and Mildew (This was his worst environmental allergy)
Brazil nuts, hazel nuts, almonds, peanuts, pecans, but POSSIBLY NOT cashews and walnuts
The doctor said although the primary manifestation of his allergies is eczema, swelling, and itching, he still thinks we should start allergy shots.  Even though he does not yet suffer any significant breathing issues, it is still worth treating as high as his allergies are.  There is some research that indicates treating this while he is young can save him down the road.  Possibly if handled correctly he will not develop asthma and will not suffer other respiratory issues his whole life.
There are no guarantees in this arena.  He will have to take 2 shots each time he goes to get in everything he needs and they start small and up the dosage as his body will tolerate it.  He will not like this at all at first, but he will get used to it.  And I think once he sees that it is making him feel better, he will actually look forward to it.  So the shots should be ready in 2 weeks and we will start then.  In the mean time, I am going to battle with our insurance for what they are wanting to charge us for these shots.  We have good coverage and usually have been happy with our plan, but in this case we are not seeing eye to eye.  So we will see what happens there.
We covet your prayers as we walk down this road with Cody.  It is nice to finally have some hope in getting him some relief.  I just hope this works.
Thank you for your interest in all of this and for loving me and my family!

Nervous Mommy

So here in the South we have decided to start school in the summer, so many of my friends are all emotional today about the first day of school.  It is bittersweet for me as a former teacher.  I miss teaching on days like today.  I loved all the new supplies, the cute outfits, the eagerness to learn and grow.  But that wears off quickly and is replaced by a lack of supplies, pointless meetings, and so many problems that you just can't fix.  I will teach again, I think, but for now I am glad for the time to be a mom full time.
I am nervous today for a whole different reason.  As I type Bret and Cody are at the allergist.  They are both doing a skin test for their environmental allergies.  Bret had injection therapy as a kid and part way through college, and it seemed to help him.  Since his allergies have made him so miserable lately, I urged him to consider going that route again.  There there is my sweet Cody.  I am desperate for him to get some relief for the many things that assault his immune system.  I just hope that they are able to figure out what it is and what we can do to help him.  If one more person tells me it is just eczema and he will grow out of it I will scream.  I know what eczema is, and he does have some of that and we treat it as prescribed.  However what makes his eyes puffy and red to the point that I am constantly questioned by strangers about it is not just eczema.  The scratching that keeps him from being able to sleep and night and leads to irritability in the day is not just a little eczema.  The kid is a very happy kid that is bothered by something in his environment.  And we will find out what it is and what can be done to help him.  OK...I feel better now.
I better run some errands while I just have one kid in tow.  I will keep you posted on the results of today's test.

My Bret

So it only seems fair that if my first 2 posts were about the kids I should write a little something about Bret.  I can't go into too much detail, because I don't want him to be the laughing stock of his friends.  So I guess what I can say is how thankful I am for him.  I had no idea when I met him over 7 years ago of all the ways that we would be such a great match.  You kinda take your chances when you get married really.  I knew a lot of good things about him, but there is no way you can know everything.  I just trusted who he was and who he would become based on the guy I did know and it has turned out to be nothing short of amazing.  He works really hard to provide for us, and he does a darn good job of it.  I am proud of who he is at work.  He is passionate about it, so I get to hear a lot about it, and it makes me smile (and laugh sometimes).  He also loves me more than I probably deserve.  He is the one person that loves me the most when I am at my best and handles me the best when I am at my worst and that means a lot.  He is a loving father.  He would do anything in the world for Cody and Emilee and they are always on his mind and in his heart.  You can tell how he carefully makes every decision with consideration for how it will impact those two little lives.  They are very fortunate.  I have a pretty darn good Dad myself, so I know how good they have it.  He is also a caring, Godly man of integrity.  What more could a girl ask for?  He is not perfect, but he does seek to please the Lord and love me and the kids in everything he does, so even when he drives me crazy, I get  past it pretty quickly, because it is hard to be mad for long with a guy like Bret.

My daughter is so much like me

I remember when I found out I was pregnant for the second time.  At first I was in utter disbelief, since we were planning to space the kids 3 years apart, but then I was excited.  I was sure I wanted another boy.  I had made it through the first year of a boy's life and I liked boys.  I enjoy sports and the outdoors so I could be the mother of two boys.  More importantly I wanted to be the queen of the house with a king and two princes that thought I was wonderful.  And I was scared to death to have a girl!  I remember all too well that as a high schooler, especially, I was not too kind to my mom, and I did not want to have to go through that.  The other prevailing thought is that I have always had this bunch of curly hair that I just applied a bunch of product to and moved on and having a little girl whose hair I would have to fix really intimidated me.  
But God knew better and He gave me Emilee.  That kid can be so much like me it is scary.  I know my mom smiles and then just laughs at how hard I have to work to keep up with this girl.  It is sweet vindication for her, I am sure.  It humbles me really to think God thought I was worthy to have such a special little girl.  If you don't know her well, she is one of a kind.  First of all she is really funny.  I enjoy laughing with that girl all day long.  She is also so full of energy, wow!  And more like her Dad, she will try anything and likely love it.  She is also Cody's best friend.  It makes me smile to see how he benefits from having a sister like Emilee.  She shows him it is ok if things are a little out of order.  She gets him to try new things and keeps him busy all day long.  I know it will not last forever, or maybe it will, but I am thankful now for how well these two get along.
So there is a Sara Groves song that goes so well with this post...maybe I will figure out how to post it on here, we will see.

At least my son is nice

As the mom of two preschoolers that are 19 months apart I have learned some valuable life lessons.
In the past I would have definitely been guilty of judging a mom in the grocery store, but not any more.
There is an Amy Grant quote that I love...it is "You have to treat people gently because we're all in a process. What might seem like a good idea to somebody at 21 is probably not going to seem like a good idea at 50, but you don't know that until you get there. "
I was in Walmart the other day and my son pitched the fit of a lifetime.  I can remember a younger, foolish Eileen that would have looked at me and thought "She should have fed him before she brought him here so he would not be so cranky or why did she bring him so close to his nap time, he is obviously tired."
As it turns out he was not hungry or tired, he was just disappointed that he did not get to do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it.  Does this display of his disappointment make me a bad mom?  No, it does not.  Could we work on how to deal with disappointment a little better...yes we could.
Every night when we sit down to dinner, getting my son to eat is a battle.  I try to remember that for the first few years of his life most of the things we gave him made him feel like crap since he was allergic to them and add that to the fact he is just picky, so food is a constant battle ground.  Again, does this make me a bad mom?  No it does not.  Could we work on his eating habits, of course we could.  But as long as we are making some progress, I am happy.  It may not be what other people would picture as progress, but to us it is.
So this leaves me thinking that I have a son who pitches ridiculous fits and does not eat without a fight...what am I doing right?
And my answer is "At least my son is nice."  I am multiple times every day astounded by how kind he is to his sister.  He is constantly battling with me in stores to buy things for other people. He will ask to watch Food Network shows, because he knows I like them.  So we must be doing something right.  We are working on the rest, and you better believe he can be a mean ol' monster when he wants to be, but in his heart he is very kind and that is all a mom can ask for really :-)
This brings me around to a principle that I try to let guide me and that is to find the joy in a situation.  It is there, you just have to be able to see it.  When I am having one of those days, I just say to myself "At least he is nice."